Mamas Who Inspire: Stephanie Brandt Cornais

If you’re anything like me, the holidays are a time when your boundaries lessen or—complete honesty—totally disappear. (My favorite day-after-Thanksgiving breakfast? Pumpkin pie, thank you very much.) Luckily, Mama & Baby Love’s Stephanie Brandt Cornais, mama to 4-year-old Penelope, was up for sharing a few tips on how to have a healthier, saner season.

What are some of your Thanksgiving traditions?

Last Thanksgiving was my first grain free Thanksgiving. I was worried that my family might feel deprived, but it ended up going really well. So I’m excited to do that again this year. I’m trying to think back to the first time I did a roast turkey…. It was six or seven years ago, and I remember being terrified. It seemed so out of my league. But once I realized how easy roasting a chicken is, I just pretended the turkey was a bigger, fatter chicken. And I’m happy to say I can do a pretty damn good turkey these days. Also, my aim with Thanksgiving is good enough; I’m not going for Martha Stewart perfection. For now, I care about nourishing my family through quality food and that I got my sh** together enough to get the meal on the table! [Laughs] So that’s been a big help, bringing down my expectations.

What’s on your Thanksgiving menu?

Last year, I made the turkey with turmeric spice. Turmeric’s really healthy; it reduces inflammation, boosts your immune system. And then I made a grain-free pumpkin pie sweetened with maple syrup; I’m looking forward to doing that again. I also made cranberry sauce with honey instead of sugar. Honey cuts the tartness, adds sweetness, and lets the natural cranberry flavors out. We also did a grain-free broccoli casserole and sweet potato fries. This year, I think I’m going to do a more traditional sweet potato casserole with marshmallows, so that’ll be little treat. We usually do a salad. So we keep it simple. I don’t want to make 50 bazillion dishes. It’s not necessary.

Is Penelope a good eater?

She’s a tough eater. She has Sensory Processing Disorder, so she has a lot of issues with textures and tastes and smells, how foods feel in her mouth. She understandably has a lot of anxiety trying new foods. But on the whole, I’d say she’s probably a better eater than the average American kid because, like, I’ve never given her McDonalds, never given her crap food. The food she eats is nourishing.

Do you have any tips about how parents can help their kids try new foods?

I blew off Penelope’s pickiness for a long time, thinking she’d grow out of it. But more often than not, a picky eater is a red flag for a bigger deal, like digestion issues or Penelope’s Sensory Disorder. So I guess my first tip is to pay attention and don’t be so quick to dismiss picky eating. After that, with Penelope we try really hard—like we don’t have the TV on during dinner, we’re often not speaking at the dinner table at all to give her as much time to focus on her food as we can, so she’s not having to process other sensory stimulation. So much of our learning is sensory, so when you’re trying to feed your kids, you might notice things like: Is the TV on? Are siblings running around nearby? Be conscious of the energy and the atmosphere. And with Penelope, getting her to try new foods is about getting her to take one bite, that’s all we care about. Exploring one thing so her anxiety can be reduced. And I’m not above bribery. [Laughs] I’ll tell her, “You can have four chocolate chips if you taste this....” We also only do one new food a week, and often reintroduce that food multiple times throughout the week. There’s research that says it can take, like, seven times for a kid to get used to a new flavor.

How do we get out of the mindset of the holidays being a giant permission slip to eat whatever we want?

Sometimes I’ll do a little pre-planning: So some years I may be like, “F*** it, it’s a free for all, I’ll eat whatever.” But then after Thanksgiving and before Christmas, I’ll do a three-week sugar cleanse, not have sugar, and that’ll help me get to a good mindset before Christmas starts. Other years, it’s all about moderation: So there are no restrictions, but I’ll have one glass of wine, a half slice of pumpkin pie. I’m a believer in the 80/20 philosophy: Eighty percent of the time I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing to make myself feel good. Twenty percent of the time I’m eating whatever I want.

How can we help our kids eat healthier over the holidays?

It’s about limiting and also having a clear idea of what sugar actually is. You’re probably not giving your kids lollipops all day, but if they’re having milk and cereal for breakfast, those break down to glucose. So that’s sugar for breakfast. So look honestly at how much sugar your kid is eating. With Penelope, she’ll have bacon and eggs for breakfast, grilled chicken and veggies for lunch. Then when she gets treats—and we absolutely do give treats—it’s a real treat. We’ll do chocolate chips sometimes. We also do those Yummy Earth lollipops that are made without high fructose corn syrup or dye. And then we make a lot of treats. We’ll make ice cream: We blend up frozen bananas, avocados, honey, cocoa powder. Penelope’s eating it up, thinking it’s the sweetest thing ever made. Good as Breyer’s!

What are your favorite kid snacks?

One of my favorite snacks for Penelope is a smoothie. When she was around 7 months old, I started blending up huge batches of fruit and veggie smoothies, pouring them into Mason jars, and freezing them. Before serving one, I’ll add supplements: fresh cod liver oil, probiotics, a raw egg yolk, spirulina power. They make the smoothie into a nutritional powerhouse, and with all the fruits and veggies, Penelope doesn’t taste them. I like that the smoothies are filling and that she has to suck them; research has shown that sucking is deeply calming to the nervous system. When Penelope gets home from school, I see her sucking down her smoothie and calming right down. And doing them in batches is so time saving and easy for me.

Which fruits and veggies do you use?

I use a base of strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries; they’re Penelope’s favorites. Then I’ll add in one new thing: mango, pineapple, banana. Give her a new taste to try. As for veggies, I’ll choose kale, spinach, or cucumber, maybe beets, but I try not to put in everything all at once so I don’t overwhelm her taste buds.

What’s your holiday guilty pleasure?

Cinnamon rolls, man. There’s a farm near where I grew up, the Knaus Berry Farm. They make these cinnamon rolls—with white flour and white sugar—I could eat a lot of those if they didn’t make me feel so bad. After a while, your guiltiest pleasures don’t hold the same desire ‘cause it’s not worth feeling so crappy afterwards.

I feel like the holidays are a major time of us moms trying to do everything—and beating ourselves up if we can’t. What’s your saving grace as a mom?

Times of stress and change—new motherhood, pregnancy, the holidays—are higher triggers for our emotional baggage than other times. Sometimes simply getting out your decorations or baking will unconsciously bring up emotions you haven’t dealt with yet. But instead of stressing, you can go, “Ok,” and have the courage to look at them this year. It’s about being more conscious.

So is staying conscious part of your mom saving grace?

Yeah. Like for me, I’m very much a Type A planner. I’ve got a good amount of OCD in me so, for example, all my holiday shopping is done already. My presents are all wrapped. My holiday cards are ordered. And once I get those in the mail, I can spend the rest of the season doing the other holiday things I enjoy, like going to see the Christmas lights with Penelope. But literally, in July I’m planning my presents. It’s about figuring out how I can cut down on my stress. I used to feel embarrassed and shameful about it, but now I just know what I need to do.