What do you say when your child says, "No!"? Practical and immediate ways to dissolve parent/child power struggles are available through Compassionate Communication, AKA Nonviolent Communication, or NVC. There is a way to hear the “yes” underneath the “No!” and let the “No!” lead to a more satisfying connection and relationship. Marshall Rosenberg developed the heart-centered compassionate communication process that has been used successfully between parents and children, couples, gangs, religious parties, and even many war-torn countries. Relationships improve through understanding. His book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life shares his compassionate communication methods through his experiences, as told in easy-to-read, clear stories that are sometimes funny, sometimes touching, and mostly amazing in their successful resolutions. “Words are windows or they’re walls, they sentence us or set us free...” These are the words sung by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D., in “The Basics of Non Violent Communication 3.2,” from his extensive YouTube video series. (Link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEsGcLrdp8M) “Parenting From Your Heart; Sharing the Gifts of Compassion, Connection, and Choice” is a booklet by Inbal Kashtan (2003 Puddle Dancer Press). Practical worksheets translate situations between parent and child into feelings and needs. Asking and answering, ‘What might the parent’s feelings and needs be?,’ and ‘What might the child’s feelings and needs be?,’ can bring relief and understanding even if the parent answers silently and when the child is preverbal. There are lists of feelings showing basic feelings we all have when our needs are met: energetic, hopeful, comfortable, trustful and thankful, versus when our needs are unmet: angry, disappointed, hopeless, sad, helpless, and overwhelmed. Children can learn an expansive range of emotions when a parent shares their exploration of feelings and how they meet their needs out loud. A great philosopher-prince, Shotoku Taishi, who lived in the turn of the sixth century, taught tolerance for every human, every creature, and every emotion. Jonia Mariechild, a communications facilitator for 25 years, echoes this sentiment often, encouraging her weekly practice group to give “equal opportunity for all emotions.” She says, “Compassionate Communication teaches the skills of following "what is alive" and learning to let go of "enemy images." Compassionate Communication teaches the skills of empathy which allow parents to connect with themselves and their children with compassion. Compassionate Communication teaches tools for creating relationships based on trust, creating a mutually empowering connection of “power with,” rather than “power over,” using force, or dominance. Through Compassionate Communication techniques you can share your deepest values and balance your own needs with the needs of others. It can also help to create a bridge of reconnection when things are tough by supporting honest, clear expression, and improving the ability to listen to others with empathy, without blaming or judging others. Jonia explains that when we hear the feelings and needs behind someone’s words, we are hearing their heart. “When we listen with "ears of the heart" we are protected from taking things personally and we are more likely to communicate in a way that meets our own needs as well as the needs of others. Compassionate Communication can be summed up in the words of the ancient Persian poet Rumi’s poem, ‘Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there.’ In the "field" of compassion, there is unconditional acceptance, understanding and deep caring. For example, when you disagree with your spouse's thoughts on child rearing, whether he or she is right or wrong becomes less important when you understand what his or her heart is trying to express.” Marshall Rosenberg’s song continues: “There are things I need to say; things that mean so much to me. If my words don’t make me clear, will you help me to be free? If I seem to put you down; If you felt I didn’t care, try to listen through my words to the feelings that we share.” His book reveals how to successfully unravel anger and frustration, and transform feelings of guilt, shame, fear and depression, so we can enjoy ourselves and contribute to more satisfying connections. As Rosenberg’s own mother once shared, “I was angry for 36 years with your father for not meeting my needs, and now I realize that I never once clearly told him what I needed.”
Link to: Website for Jonia Mariechild, Communications Facilitator: Video introduction of Compassionate Communication. http://www.butterflymysteries.com/ CD “Connected Parenting” By Inbal Kashtan http://www.baynvc.org/connected_parenting_cd.php Nonviolent Communication For Children & Youth By Inbal Kashtan http://www.growingupeasier.org/index.php?main_page=page&id=163&chapter=3 Quick Compassionate Communication Reference Guides: http://www.newenglandnvc.org/images/workshop-handout-no-cover.pdf http://www.baynvc.org/documents/quick_reference_guide.pdf
Emotional Benefits of Getting Outside
Spending time in nature with your baby can strengthen the bond between you. The simple act of holding your baby close, feeling their warmth, and sharing new experiences together can create strong emotional connections. It’s also a wonderful way to reduce stress and improve your mood. When my littles were extra fussy, I’d take a walk around the neighborhood. Even though I don't live in an area with trails and surrounded by nature, simply behind outside changed everything. A little vitamin D does wonders!
Cognitive Development
Nature is a sensory wonderland for babies. The different sights, sounds, and smells can stimulate your baby’s senses and promote cognitive development. Watching leaves rustle, hearing birds chirp, and feeling the texture of a tree bark can all contribute to their learning and development.
All About Baby Carriers for Nature Adventures
Choosing the Right Baby Carrier
When it comes to selecting the best baby carrier for summer adventures, there are several options to consider.
Types of Baby Carriers:
- Wraps: Perfect for newborns, providing a snug and secure fit.
- Slings: Ideal for quick and easy use, offering good ventilation.
- Soft Structured Carriers: Versatile and comfortable for both parent and baby, suitable for longer trips.
Factors to Consider:
- Baby’s Age and Weight: Ensure the carrier is appropriate for your baby’s size and weight. For example, Ergobaby’s Embrace Newborn Carrier is perfect for the fourth trimester where baby is small and you’re looking for an easy way to stay close. As they grow, you’ll want to upgrade to an all-position carrier that’s meant for growing babies.
- Parent’s Comfort and Ergonomics: Look for carriers with padded shoulder straps and lumbar support if you’re planning on longer outings.
- Ease of Use: Choose a carrier that is easy to put on and take off.
- Climate and Breathability: Opt for carriers made of breathable fabrics to keep you and your baby cool in hot weather.
Safety Tips:
- Proper Positioning: Ensure your baby is seated correctly, with their legs in an "M" position and their head should be close enough to kiss.
- Checking for Wear and Tear: Regularly inspect your carrier for any signs of damage.
- Ensuring Adequate Support: Make sure the carrier provides proper support for your baby’s head and neck.
Exploring Nature with a Baby Carrier
Ideal Spots for a Nature Walk with Baby
- Parks and Gardens: Great for leisurely walks and picnics.
- Nature Trails and Forests: Perfect for more adventurous outings.
- Beaches and Lakesides: Wonderful for enjoying the water and sand, with the right carrier.
Activity Ideas
- Hiking: Enjoy a scenic hike with a hiking baby carrier that offers support and storage.
- Bird Watching: Use your carrier to keep your baby close while you explore and observe wildlife.
- Picnics: A carrier can free up your hands, making it easier to carry picnic supplies.
Advantages of Using Strollers for Nature Adventures
While baby carriers are fantastic for mobility and closeness, depending on the adventure of choice you might want to be a stroller along too.
There are a LOT of baby stroller options on the market. So we understand how confusing it can be to choose the one that’s right for your family. Not only are there a variety of brands, but a variety of strollers that serve different purposes.
There are a few types of strollers on the market:
- Full-sized stroller: This is typically the stroller parents thing of buying for all its versatility.
- Lightweight or umbrella stroller:These compact strollers are perfect for on-the-go adventures.
- Jogging stroller: Designed for parents who want to combine fitness with outdoor adventures.
- Double stroller: Designed for parents with multiple kids, especially twins.
- Car seat carrier: These strollers connect to a specific car seat. We don't typically recommend these as they can be unsafe for baby and uncomfortable for parents who are pushing.
Learn more about the types of strollers and which one would be best for you.
Benefits of Bringing a Stroller
- Storage Space for Gear: Ample room for carrying all your essentials like a diaper bag, beach toys and more.
- Shade and Weather Protection: Built-in canopies to shield your baby from the sun when they are lounging.
- Options: If you have more than one kid, you can stroll with one and carry the other. Or, if you’re getting warm or your little one is getting fussy, you can switch up their position from stroller to carrier or vice versa.
Safety Tips for Strollers
- Ensure your stroller is in good working condition. Make sure buckles are still buckling and that there are no rips or holes that could compromise your baby’s safety.
- Use sunshades or bug nets to protect your little one’s skin.
- Securing the baby properly: always buckle up your baby for safety even if you think they are old enough to go without the buckle.
Combining Baby Carriers and Strollers
For the ultimate flexibility, consider using both a baby carrier and a stroller on your outings.
Combining both options allows you to adapt to different situations. Use the carrier for more rugged trails and switch to the stroller for smoother paths or when your baby needs a nap.
Transition Tips
- Smooth Transitions: Plan stops where you can easily switch from carrier to stroller.
- Pack Light: Only bring essentials to make transitions easier.
Tips for a Successful Adventure
Planning Ahead
- Route Planning: Choose baby-friendly trails and parks. Check local mom groups or outdoor groups and get recommendations for the best outings for kids.
- Check Weather Conditions: Avoid extreme heat or unpredictable weather. Even with our most breathable carriers, when it’s hot, it’s hot. And having two bodies against each other in the heat will be naturally hot and sticky already.
- Packing Checklist: Include diapers, snacks, water, sunscreen, and a first-aid kit. These all-position carriers have storage pockets where you can fit some of the items easily!
- Stay Hydrated and Nourished: Pack healthy snacks to keep energy levels up and bring plenty of water for both you and baby.
Summer adventures with your baby are a wonderful way to create lasting memories and enjoy the beauty of nature together. From baby carriers to strollers, Ergobaby products are designed to provide comfort and ease for both you and your little one. So, gear up, get outside, and explore the world with your baby by your side.
Ready to embark on your own summer adventures? Check out Ergobaby’s range of baby carriers and strollers to find the perfect match for your family’s needs. Visit our website today and start planning your next outdoor excursion!