How to Keep Your Relationship Strong After Having a Baby
Becoming a parent is a life-changing experience. The transition from being a couple to a family can strain even the strongest relationships, making it crucial to prioritize your connection with your partner. Research shows that within three years of having a baby, nearly two-thirds of couples experience a decline in relationship satisfaction. However, with intentionality, communication, and quality time, you and your partner can navigate this transition together and emerge stronger than ever.
In this article, we’ll explore how relationships change after having a baby, share practical ways to maintain a strong bond, and provide creative date night ideas—both for when you can step out and when you're staying in.
How Relationships Change After Having a Baby
The arrival of a baby brings a shift in priorities, routines, and responsibilities. Here are some of the most common relationship changes new parents experience:
1. Increased Stress and Fatigue
Lack of sleep, new responsibilities, and the emotional demands of caring for a newborn can lead to exhaustion and irritability, making patience and communication more difficult.
2. Less Time for Each Other
Before the baby, spending time together felt effortless. Now, between feedings, diaper changes, and naps, quality time may take a backseat, making it harder to connect.
3. Changes in Intimacy
Physical and emotional intimacy often shifts in the postpartum period. Between exhaustion and hormonal changes, finding moments for connection may take extra effort.
4. Shifts in Communication
Conversations may become more focused on logistics—who’s changing the next diaper, who’s waking up for the next feed—rather than emotional connection, leading to misunderstandings or frustrations.
5. New Roles and Responsibilities
Parenthood can create an imbalance in household duties and parenting responsibilities, which can lead to feelings of resentment if not addressed.
Recognizing these changes is the first step. The next is finding ways to strengthen your relationship despite them.
How to Keep Your Relationship Strong After Having a Baby
Here are some practical strategies to nurture your relationship while adjusting to life as parents:
1. Prioritize Communication
Make an effort to talk about more than just the baby. Share your feelings, concerns, and small wins. Even a 10-minute check-in each day can help you stay connected.
2. Schedule Time Together
Whether it's a weekly date night, a morning coffee together, or a simple walk with the baby in a stroller, carving out intentional time for each other strengthens your bond.
All About Baby Carriers for Nature Adventures
3. Show Appreciation
Parenting is hard work, and both partners want to feel valued. A simple “thank you” for changing a diaper or handling a night feed can go a long way.
4. Be a Team
Discuss parenting duties openly to ensure a fair balance. Supporting each other and working as a team makes the journey smoother.
5. Keep Intimacy Alive
Intimacy may look different after having a baby, and that’s okay. Small gestures—holding hands, hugging, or even sending a sweet text—help maintain emotional closeness.
6. Seek Support When Needed
If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to seek help, whether it’s from friends, family, or a professional counselor.
Factors to Consider:
- Baby’s Age and Weight: Ensure the carrier is appropriate for your baby’s size and weight. For example, Ergobaby’s Embrace Newborn Carrier is perfect for the fourth trimester where baby is small and you’re looking for an easy way to stay close. As they grow, you’ll want to upgrade to an all-position carrier that’s meant for growing babies.
- Parent’s Comfort and Ergonomics: Look for carriers with padded shoulder straps and lumbar support if you’re planning on longer outings.
- Ease of Use: Choose a carrier that is easy to put on and take off.
- Climate and Breathability: Opt for carriers made of breathable fabrics to keep you and your baby cool in hot weather.
Date Night Ideas for Parents (With a Little One in Tow)
Just because you have a baby doesn’t mean date nights have to stop! Here are a few ways to enjoy time together while keeping your little one close:
1. Go for a Picnic
Pack a meal, grab a baby carrier or stroller, and enjoy a meal in the park while your baby naps or takes in the fresh air.
2. Mini Golf or Bowling
These casual, low-pressure activities allow you to have fun together while keeping your baby in a stroller nearby.
3. See a Matinee Movie
Newborns often sleep through anything—take advantage of this and catch an early movie while they snooze.
4. Take a Scenic Walk
Whether it's a beach, nature trail, or your neighborhood, a walk with your baby in a carrier or stroller gives you time to talk and reconnect.
5. Coffee or Dessert Date
A quick outing to your favorite coffee shop or bakery can feel like a mini escape.
Looking for a stroller that makes outings easier? The Metro Stroller is a lightweight, compact option perfect for taking your little one along on date night.
Exploring Nature with a Baby Carrier
Ideal Spots for a Nature Walk with Baby
- Parks and Gardens: Great for leisurely walks and picnics.
- Nature Trails and Forests: Perfect for more adventurous outings.
- Beaches and Lakesides: Wonderful for enjoying the water and sand, with the right carrier.
Activity Ideas
- Hiking: Enjoy a scenic hike with a hiking baby carrier that offers support and storage.
- Bird Watching: Use your carrier to keep your baby close while you explore and observe wildlife.
- Picnics: A carrier can free up your hands, making it easier to carry picnic supplies.
Advantages of Using Strollers for Nature Adventures
While baby carriers are fantastic for mobility and closeness, depending on the adventure of choice you might want to be a stroller along too.
There are a LOT of baby stroller options on the market. So we understand how confusing it can be to choose the one that’s right for your family. Not only are there a variety of brands, but a variety of strollers that serve different purposes.
There are a few types of strollers on the market:
- Full-sized stroller: This is typically the stroller parents thing of buying for all its versatility.
- Lightweight or umbrella stroller:These compact strollers are perfect for on-the-go adventures.
- Jogging stroller: Designed for parents who want to combine fitness with outdoor adventures.
- Double stroller: Designed for parents with multiple kids, especially twins.
- Car seat carrier: These strollers connect to a specific car seat. We don't typically recommend these as they can be unsafe for baby and uncomfortable for parents who are pushing.
Learn more about the types of strollers and which one would be best for you.
Date Night Ideas for Parents Staying In
When leaving the house isn’t an option, you can still create special moments at home.
1. Movie Night
Pop some popcorn, grab a cozy blanket, and watch a favorite film together.
2. Cook a Special Meal
Try a new recipe together or take an online cooking class for a fun, interactive date night.
3. Play Games
Board games, card games, or even trivia can make for a fun and relaxed evening.
4. Indoor Picnic
Set up a picnic in your living room with candles, music, and your favorite snacks.
5. Virtual Travel Night
Pick a destination, cook a dish from that country, and watch a travel documentary—it's like a mini getaway without leaving home.
For these at-home dates, a baby bouncer like the Evolve 3-in-1 Bouncer can be a lifesaver, keeping your little one happy while you enjoy some much-needed couple time.
Combining Baby Carriers and Strollers
For the ultimate flexibility, consider using both a baby carrier and a stroller on your outings.
Combining both options allows you to adapt to different situations. Use the carrier for more rugged trails and switch to the stroller for smoother paths or when your baby needs a nap.
Transition Tips
- Smooth Transitions: Plan stops where you can easily switch from carrier to stroller.
- Pack Light: Only bring essentials to make transitions easier.
Tips for a Successful Adventure
Planning Ahead
- Route Planning: Choose baby-friendly trails and parks. Check local mom groups or outdoor groups and get recommendations for the best outings for kids.
- Check Weather Conditions: Avoid extreme heat or unpredictable weather. Even with our most breathable carriers, when it’s hot, it’s hot. And having two bodies against each other in the heat will be naturally hot and sticky already.
- Packing Checklist: Include diapers, snacks, water, sunscreen, and a first-aid kit. These all-position carriers have storage pockets where you can fit some of the items easily!
- Stay Hydrated and Nourished: Pack healthy snacks to keep energy levels up and bring plenty of water for both you and baby.
Additional Reading and Resources
The Gottman Institute's research underscores the importance of maintaining emotional connection and intimacy within a marriage, even amidst the demands of raising young children. Couples who prioritize quality time together, engage in meaningful conversations, and express appreciation and affection towards each other are more likely to sustain a strong emotional connection over time. This emotional connection serves as a source of support, comfort, and resilience, enhancing marital satisfaction and overall well-being.
By investing in your relationship, modeling healthy relationship dynamics, protecting your parental bond, enhancing co-parenting, managing stress and conflict, and sustaining emotional connection, you can create a supportive and nurturing environment for both your marriage and your family. Ultimately, prioritizing your marriage lays the foundation for a strong and resilient family unit, benefiting both parents and children alike. Here’s a few resources for you and your partner to help strengthen and deepen your relationship:
Looking for more ways to strengthen your relationship after having a baby? Check out these resources:
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – A practical guide by Dr. John Gottman.
- Hold Me Tight – A deep dive into emotional bonding by Dr. Sue Johnson.
- The Gottman Institute – Research-based relationship advice.
- Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel : A rare glimpse into real-life couples therapy sessions.
- Date Box Club: Date Night made easy, just open and have fun!
- Adventure Challenge: A fun scratch off challenge book with anything from couples dates, bedroom fun, and family time!
Other blogs to read:
Identity, Baby: What Happens When “Me” becomes “We”?
Tips for Parents to Care for Their Mental Health
How to Care for a Partner Who is Giving Birth
By investing in your relationship—whether through open communication, intentional time together, or small gestures of love—you can keep your bond strong, even amidst the challenges of parenthood.
Remember, a happy relationship makes for a happy family. Prioritize your connection, and enjoy the journey together!